7 Taste
Uthappam
It’s not everyday one tries
something new and ends up with an of egg on ones’ face, not really an egg, but
something close to that. Something that you did not expect and definitely not
on the positive side or what you desired, even remotely.
That was what happened to me on
the other day at Hotel Saravana Bhavan at Mylapoor . Something which cannot be
so easily forgotten and perhaps not to be forgotten either – It’s all about a fashionably
sounding dish called 7 Taste Uthappam.
Eating daily in hotels is
not very exciting or enthusiastic. Deciding what to eat itself becomes an
arduous and Herculean task, taxing your acumen and sapping your mental energy.
Thinking what you ate in the morning, noon or night or the previous day, then
trying all sorts of permutations and combinations and going crazy in the
process, straining to conjure some new or different combination which will have
to be within the boundaries of your habits, tastes and of course your dogmatic
prejudices, is a daunting task of gargantuan proportions and the very thought
will bring you dread and wrinkles on your forehead (kannu overaa kathudhey). Needless to say it deprives you of
precious time which otherwise would have been put to better use like solving
the intractable problems of the world. What a pity for the world!!
In this somber mood I and
Srinivas graced hotel Saravana Bhavan in Mylapoor one night in January 2009.
After going thru the motions of scanning the same old menu card which I almost
memorized, I was on the verge of ordering the plebeian rava dosa when suddenly
my eyes caught some quirky item called 7 taste uthappam. With a jerk I sat
upright, read it again (not that it was in Greek or Latin) and for some time toyed
with the idea of having that. People don’t understand the amount of courage and
bravery required to do such things. To sail in unchartered waters, to walk the
unbeaten path, to venture into the unknown. I called the waiter with a bit of
fizz and I suspect the decibel level of the beckoning was a trifle more than
desirable. And in a transient moment of injudicious enthusiasm and audacious
daring bordering on reckless folly (this I only realized later) I ordered the 7
taste Uthappam rather triumphantly, which I presumed to be an exotic dish. The
waiter gave me a sort of smug smirk and scurried away or rather I had a
presentiment that he did. I was sort of beaming; you know the kind of mood when
you make a momentous decision to try some great thing, like a great adventure
into uncharted territory (to use a cliché), like having done something
momentous. Now, it’s not the smugness which George Bush talks about WMD or the
Iraqi - Al-Qaeda link or about ushering democracy to the barbarians (Bush
thinks so) of the Middle East. I am not that unenlightened nor can stoop to
such abysmal depths. But I still had a sort of stiff upper lip. Haven’t I done
something smashing!! With this supercilious disposition I sat humming and
drumming. Did I smack my lips in anticipation? Perhaps I did.
Then the dish I ordered
with so much zeal, a bit of smugness and a dash of adventurism – the so called
7 taste Uthappam came. I looked at my plate, shook my head, blinked, rubbed my
eyes, and looked at it again. In awe struck consternation, unconsciously I let
out a whistle or may be a shriek who knows! In front of me were seven dosais (I
know that I am committing a travesty of justice a great disservice to the dosai
species, I am constrained to use this term simply for want of a better word),
each one just the size of a Horlicks bottle cap. Hmm! on second thoughts, may
be even smaller than that. On top of each of these giant dosai were seven side
dishes. The crowning glory of my great impeccable choice was in front me. On
the top of dosais were dashes (you really can’t have less quantity than that as
that would require the services of a magnifying glass) of white chutney, green
chutney, red chutney, potato masala, Kissan jam, Ketchup and some other
concoction. I wish I had looked at myself in the mirror at that moment. You bet
my countenance would have been really worth watching. My jaws didn’t close, for
how long I don’t know and I am sure my eyes were quite wide.
Did I look sheepish! Of course! My god what a
moment! And what a crash to my vaunted intelligence, knowledge, wisdom,
erudition and what not! What a splendid way to smash an ego to
smithereens! Wa! Wa!
I wouldn't dare to order a 7
Taste Uthappam anywhere in the universe. Once is enough. Indeed!
